How to save a life

Hey, it has been a while.

This time around doing some writing while listening to a great pianist. You are revolved in those kind of atmosphere. A sentimental one. It feels great to have this time around sometimes, but not too often. Just to get the fresh air of love. Thinking about how you've grown up so fast from a little kid to an 18 who's turning to 19 next year. Thinking about how far you've come. Thinking about how good your life is. You know, just some thinking.

We often get jealous with others' life, thinking theirs is better than ours. But little do we realized that there are too, some people, who get jealous with our life, thinking their life is so far away to be compared to ours. We overlooked little things that could mean the biggest thing to anyone else. Even the richest people in the world would get jealous seeing a small family living in the street, happily. Thinking about how he doesn't own such happiness. Not to say poor people who get jealous over rich people for their wealth and how uncomfortable their life is. We get jealous over things.

We get jealous seeing mom treat our sister better than us. We get jealous seeing our friend slowly becoming best friend to the other friend. We get jealous seeing brother spoiling our little sister. We get jealous seeing teacher give compliments to other classmate. We get jealous seeing classmate getting better result than us. We get jealous seeing the favorite opposite-sex of us getting to cared less about us. We get jealous seeing other people using hi-tech gadget when we're only using old stuff. We get jealous seeing the favorite boy band member dating another girl but not us (lol). We get jealous seeing people who are closed to us get more attention than we do. We get jealous seeing people so outstanding that it actually drowned us away. We get jealous seeing people with good and sophisticated life. We get jealous over every little thing.

I like being the one who people don't give a damn about because that way, I wouldn't have to think of something to please them.

You know those are lies.

I wanted to be one of those people who people cared about, or even, have a glanced at. I may sound shitty right now. I sounded ungrateful for which I hate because when I think again, I have exactly everything I needed in my whole life. It's just, every single time I'm getting closer to someone, I get hit away after. I get left out. I get isolated. I became the first piece of bread that no one would ever want. It's upsetting me. But no, I shouldn't be for everyone that left me out would have better life without me and I too, should have a way better life for dumping unwanted people who doesn't give a damn about me.

After all, that's life. Isn't it?