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It's already February.
Time flies, that's what I always said. Probably because I don't have anything else to say.
I've been feeling happy and sad these past few days. Those kind of mixed feelings yknow.
I just feel the need of writing something and this definitely is the best medium.
It just feels good when you can write something without having anyone knowing you are writing something.
That chills.

I have no idea what to write about.
All time favorite topic of all people my age is about love and fate.
I always have plans on my future undertakings.
Where I might further my degree studies later.
What will I become in the upcoming 5 years.
What kind of people will I meet.
Where would I be 10 years from now.
Who will stay by my side through my thick and thins.
Who would I spend my entire life with.
How many kids will I have.
What kind of house will I live in.
Will my bakery-cafe style coming to live as I wish.
And the list never ends...

I have those questions in my mind at all times.
Will I be able to achieve everything that I dream of or will I even get to the stage where I wish I could.

But sure thing is,
I'm on its way.

How to save a life

Hey, it has been a while.

This time around doing some writing while listening to a great pianist. You are revolved in those kind of atmosphere. A sentimental one. It feels great to have this time around sometimes, but not too often. Just to get the fresh air of love. Thinking about how you've grown up so fast from a little kid to an 18 who's turning to 19 next year. Thinking about how far you've come. Thinking about how good your life is. You know, just some thinking.

We often get jealous with others' life, thinking theirs is better than ours. But little do we realized that there are too, some people, who get jealous with our life, thinking their life is so far away to be compared to ours. We overlooked little things that could mean the biggest thing to anyone else. Even the richest people in the world would get jealous seeing a small family living in the street, happily. Thinking about how he doesn't own such happiness. Not to say poor people who get jealous over rich people for their wealth and how uncomfortable their life is. We get jealous over things.

We get jealous seeing mom treat our sister better than us. We get jealous seeing our friend slowly becoming best friend to the other friend. We get jealous seeing brother spoiling our little sister. We get jealous seeing teacher give compliments to other classmate. We get jealous seeing classmate getting better result than us. We get jealous seeing the favorite opposite-sex of us getting to cared less about us. We get jealous seeing other people using hi-tech gadget when we're only using old stuff. We get jealous seeing the favorite boy band member dating another girl but not us (lol). We get jealous seeing people who are closed to us get more attention than we do. We get jealous seeing people so outstanding that it actually drowned us away. We get jealous seeing people with good and sophisticated life. We get jealous over every little thing.

I like being the one who people don't give a damn about because that way, I wouldn't have to think of something to please them.

You know those are lies.

I wanted to be one of those people who people cared about, or even, have a glanced at. I may sound shitty right now. I sounded ungrateful for which I hate because when I think again, I have exactly everything I needed in my whole life. It's just, every single time I'm getting closer to someone, I get hit away after. I get left out. I get isolated. I became the first piece of bread that no one would ever want. It's upsetting me. But no, I shouldn't be for everyone that left me out would have better life without me and I too, should have a way better life for dumping unwanted people who doesn't give a damn about me.

After all, that's life. Isn't it?

help

Hello.

I was scooping ice cream into the cone when suddenly dad come over and asked for another one for himself. To make it fair, I asked mom if she would like one and she said yes. So, I gave the ice cream that I just scooped which was supposed to be mine to my dad. I scooped another one and gave it to my mom. The hunger that I had for ice creams suddenly gone. I kept the ice cream in the fridge and ended up not eating it.

And right at that moment, I finally realized helping others can make you feel "full" :)

It was me

"Mankind is connected in a way it does not understand- even in dreams"

Mitch Albom

People are connected to each other. We meet different kind of people in our life. We encounter different kind of situation throughout our life. But in the end, we still wouldn't want to admit that everything happens for a reason even though we know exactly how true that is. Maybe, just maybe, if we were given the ability by the Almighty to know and figure out the reason for everything that happened, we would learn to appreciate life more. 

Is it even possible to have missing someone you met only once? And to make it even worse, is it even possible to fall for someone you met only once? 

Somehow, I would pray for your happiness.

hi

Hi.
New environment.
New way of life.
New people.
New things.

Life during secondary school year may sound tiring, but college life double up that tiredness. Aiming for the best, trying to be the best, working for the best. That's all I can do now as to finish my foundation studies in law with flying colors. 4 weeks to go for Finals. Not sure if I'm fully-prepared yet but currently working my asses off to fill up the unpreparedness. Should stay focus until the end. Hope i can achieve what I've always wanted to achieve. Let's not get ourselves too stressed out. Just come to a realization that last-minute revision isn't a good way to get what we want. All in all, still can't get away with these so called "homesick" feeling but it's okay. After all, success needs sacrifice isn't it? :)